Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
