she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
