It's like God shit irony all over that family
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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