you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I just sharted jello shots
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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