Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
