so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
