PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
