Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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