oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
