i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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