shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
