what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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