I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
