Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
