break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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