I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
