your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
