I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You were trust falling into bushes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
