I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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