We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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