Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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