I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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