only if we run a train.
done.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
