i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
