HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
