I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just googled if crying burns calories
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
