I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
