How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
