I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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