Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
