dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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