There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
