Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
