Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wakey wakey hands off snakey

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(850): View more from Florida

I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

(631): View more from New York

Samesies

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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(216): View more from Ohio

i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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(512): View more from Texas

He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered

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(516): View more from New York

I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

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