your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
