Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
