i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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