does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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