Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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