My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
