i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
