i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
