I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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