carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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