I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
