I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
