Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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