any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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