They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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