His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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