ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Panties = found
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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