I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
