take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
