I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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