I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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