yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
