i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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