yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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