Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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