Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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