Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
