I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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