Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize