I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
