Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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