We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
