On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
