some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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