fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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