Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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