Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My ATM looks so different sober.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
