I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
