I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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